So we have an update on our basketball situation--one of our star players, trying to NBA it, has come out to say IF he returns to college, he's going to Kansas or Gonzaga. And I am stunned. And heartbroken. He seemed to love Tech & certainly Tech loved him. And he's turned his back on us & told us to F off. It's not personal toward me but I was all in & I'm taking it personally. Life has changed. He has no loyalty & KU? Gonzaga? All of my loyalty to him is gone.
Again, as I said before, he has to do what's best for him. Neither of those programs is what's best for him but that's just my opinion. It's hard to explain how or why I feel like I do. It's just the end of the era & I hate things that end like that. It's me caring for someone more than they care for us. And yes, I know it's a game, played by people I don't even know. And it's a world that's all about money. I guess it's just that for all of these years I have had blind loyalty to our teams & that is not even possible anymore. Every transfer & commit will be met with a "whatever". I will no longer breathe Texas Tech basketball. I want them to win but if they don't? Shit happens.
I'm probably going to have to come back tomorrow & read this to see if it makes any sense. It doesn't even make sense to me.
I've found in my real life, as I've gotten older, that I've grown apart from my real friends. Some are, frankly, gone & I know that's my fault. But I justify it in my mind. I have always gone out of my way to keep in touch & to make lives easier for those around me. And then their came a point that I had friends that I feel would not cross the street to help me. I don't ask for help often but I mostly don't feel like anyone is there for me. I'm not a gut spiller but when I call someone to talk & they make the entire conversation about them & don't even listen to me, it hurts my feelings. It's childish but it's how I feel.
I have a friend that I used to talk to once a week. She lives in another city. And at the end of last year she had some knee surgery & I'd call to check on her because she was not doing great. But she told me that she'd call me from now on so I stopped calling. I did call when I went down to watch baseball in the metroplex in February but I have not heard from her since. It hurts me in a way but every conversation was about her, her husband & her son & family. She doesn't call but likes anything I do on Facebook & that bothers me. I feel stalked for some reason.
Again, I'm on a big rant right now. And my brain is going 300 miles a minute right now. Tomorrow will give me a new perspective.
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