Blondies

Before Christmas I found a website that was sending out daily cookie recipes & I subscribed.  Normally, I get ovehrwhelmed with subscription emails & they are gone as fast as they started but this one is not real invasive & I've tried a couple of recipes.  It's called 'Crazy for Crust'.  

This week, they sent out a recipe for blondies, which are basically cookie bars.  The recipe is a butter-sugar base like a chocolate chip cookie recipe but this particular one is different than my chocolate chip recipe in that it uses 2 cups of brown sugar & no white sugar.  It gives it a richer & sweeter taste.  Joanna Gaines uses only brown sugar in her chocolate chip cookie recipes but I like mine better.  These were good tho a little rich but are baked a little thicker like brownies.  They taste good in any case.  You can add lots of different mix-ins besides chocolate chips--nuts,M&Ms,butterscotch chips,toffee,,candy bars.  

It also says to use a 9x13 dish, which gave them a brownie feel.  It says to use foil & spray with Pam but I used parchment paper instead.  They come right out.  I love parchment paper.

Recipe

In mixer, combine til crumbly:

1/2 Cup Butter

2  Cups Brown Sugar

Add:

2 Large Eggs

1 tsp Vanilla

Mix together & add to above:

2 Cups Flour

1 Tsp Baking Powder

1/2 Tsp salt

Then add 2 cups Mix-ins.

Spread into pan.  Bake  350 degrees, 22-25 minutes til golden brown. Recipe says to err on the undercooked side--they'll keep baking as they cool & you don't want them to overbake.

Recipe also gives nutritional info but I like living in the dark.  My nutritional advice is don't eat them all at once.

Seabiscuit

I'm trying to watch more movies because I've always loved them.  Less these days because I absolutely hate liberal Hollywood & their stupid obsession with shoving their politics down our throats.  Their egos suck.

I watched a not completely sucky movie earlier this week called 'How Do You Know' with Reese Witherspoon, Owen Wilson,Jack Nicholson & the only person/thing that made it not a complete suck Paul Rudd.  It's not worth reviewing.

 I also watched a made for TV called 'Snow Day'...a new movie but it was a kid thing about kids not wanting to go to school.  Also, not reviewing.

Finally, tonight, I'm watching a movie I've seen before. 'Seabiscuit' is about an "inferior" horse in the 30s & 40s, along with his "inferior" trainer, owner & jockey.  He beat 1937 Triple Crown winner War Admiral.  Secreteriat was his grandfather.  Jeff Bridges is the owner, Tobey McGuire the jockey, Chris Cooper the trainer.   They are all good guys & easy to root for.  It's a complete feel good movie, something I need more of in my life. 

I saw it at the theater when it first came out with my friend John.  I'd met him at the theater & he was already saving us a seat when I pulled up.  I had my hand in my pocket & found money & decided to get us popcorn & coke to share.  After we were munching, I got the giggles...I remembered it was John's money.  I'd had a garage sale that morning & sold something of his.  I was bringing him his cash...but forgot that part.  We were eating his profits.  Still makes me laugh.

Second Dilemma

 And here's the other dilemma...

I love my Aunt Betty who is 88 years old a whole bunch.  She lives with her daughter & son-in-law in Dallas.  And she's about to have 2 brand new great granddaughters this summer.  So her daughter is having a double baby shower next month in Dallas.  Basically, for me, it means a trip to Dallas,drive or fly, & a hotel room & 2 gifts. And big old family stuff.

Just for background, my Aunt is a angel & I 'd love to see her & I need to make more effort while she's here.  her husband, my Uncle T, was a man who'd like to forget where he came from & always looked down on our family because my dad was a working man.  Never mind that my daddy took care of him when he was a kid when my granddaddy was in a stupor because he lost his wife. I do believe Uncle loved my mom & he always said he respected my dad but all of that was while he was looking down his nose at us.  And Aunt raised all 3 of her kids well but it was always clear they saw us as their poor relatives.  Cousin includes me because of her mom but I have no illusion that when Aunt goes I won't be included again.  I feel like they pity me a little when they see me.

When I talked to Cousin last week, I told her about my niece's new granddaughter & I don't remember exactly what she said but she didn't ask anything about her. Not where or when or who.  It never crossed her mind to try to care.  But I do remember feeling that's just how it goes.

Cousins have always been the haves--rich parents,rich educations,rich careers--and we've been the have nots. I'm proud of what S & I have accomplished but it doesn't stand in the spotlight like their lives. 

So I already know I'm a no on the trip.  And I'm still a maybe on gifts (Amazon delivered to their homes because they are all flying so no real gifts).  Because I love Aunt, I will probably send.  

But ignoring my family still hurts a little. 

Empty Tank

I have an empty tank.  

I've always prided myself in being a generous person.  It's my nature.  Sometimes, some (even me occasionally) see that as either a huge weakness or as a very sucker quality.  People have taken advantage of me, no doubt, but it doesn't happen more than once with that person.

So now I have a couple of dilemas.

Wednesday is my friend J's 65th birthday.  I can't say I usually make a huge deal out of her birthday but I usually take her out for a meal & give her a card for Sonic or the tea store.  But, as with all of my friends, things have changed over the last few years.  She's never taken me  for a meal.  She sends me a text message.  That's it.  And now I haven't heard from since Christmas.  

Her life is a mess & she tends to revolve everything around her & her family, which is the right thing to do.  She asks me to do things for her...come to her job to help her out or sit with her mom & I always do it.  But I've asked her to do 3 things for me in the last year & nada.

1. She bills herself as a color expert. I asked her to come help me match colors.  She agreed but later texted that she'd had a rough day & that the thought of stepping out the door made her want to crawl under her bed.

2. I can't remember the 2nd request but I don't request anything hard or that costs money.  I even told her I was making BLT's for us for lunch.  She called to say her daugher stopped by & brought lunch & they had to work. 

3. Since I broke my wrist in May I have trouble turning things. I needed to change a filter in my refrigherator that called for turning it to release it.  She told me she'd be over the next day.  No show,no call. 

Haven't heard from her since.

I plan on just sending her a birthday text & not doing anything else and I feel horribly guilty.  But my spirit & tanks are empty & nothing is going in. 

I think I've decided & can't do for others if they can't do simple things for me. I think I was pretending to myself that they care & I can't do it any more. 

EDIT:  Got a text today wishing me "Happy heart day from your 💩 friend.  She's not wrong.  I wished her one back.  Could tomorrow be her birthday?  Hmmm.  My heart's not in the right place now.  

I Shredded...& pokes

As I head towards tax season every year I am amazed at how much paper I have in my life.  I am a dinosaur that has a file cabinet & 3 of the 4 drawers have paper in them.  So I go through & take out the old insurance policies & stuff I don't need.  I never seem to make much progress.  And I know I'm too boring for anyone to look at the stuff but I shred it anyway. Today is Super Bowl day & I shredded during the half time show.

Along with the usual junk I put a couple of things through that poked at my heart.  The first is a picture of my friend Donna & I.  Apparently she has dropped me as a friend because of politics but has done it in a cowardly way & not told me.  I just have not heard from her since last May.  I've discussed this before in another post so I won't rehash it. But shredding the picture gave me a poke.

The other is a small book I got as a freshman in college & it's called 'The Nothing Book'.  It's a small paperback that has only blank pages.  The tag line says "Wanna make something of it?".  Basically it's a 70s model journal & it was full of things that would be in a journal or an dream board.  It was basically full of stuff that only meant something to me 50 years ago.  Nothing embarrassing, just 18 year old's thoughts,  but still not something I want others to read.  I went through it & read everything, Then I shredded it too.  Another poke. 

Edit:  Got a message today telling me she "thought about you last night when Tech beat Texas" & happy valentines day.  Wished it back.  Weird timing.