Sunday, August 13, 2023

Racing mind today

I can't sleep, as usual.

I have eliminated overt caffiene in my diet though there is probably some hidden stuff.  

I stopped drinking soda's in December though I do drink some some fruity carbonated sugar free drinks. Just one a day.  Basically every ingredient has 0's...Probably still not good for me but hopefully not hurting too bad.  And  I get tired of water all the time.  And I drink a lot of water & I like it.  To be fair to me, some days & even weeks are just water days.

I'm intermittant fasting.  I eat only between 10 am & 6pm. I can eat what I want but only during those hours.  It's been pretty easy so far.  I started Monday at 148.5 pounds.  I want to below below 130.  I'd be happy with 129.9.   But I'm not going to beat myself up.  I've happy where I am but losing 20 pounds would be great for my blood sugar. Plus I found 3 shirts on sale last week that fit but would look better 20 pounds less. 😅

I'm watching My 600 pound life so I think about weight.

One lady was adopted & the doctor told the adoptive parents that the birth mom was a large woman & the baby had same tendancies so a pediatrition put her on diet pills at age 3.  Now she weighs 678 pounds.  Or did then.  Show is older. 

A few years bariactric surgery was a fad at my office & our insurance paid for it...but I didn't qualify because I was under 200 pounds at the time. I'm glad I didn't do it.  Not sure how exactly but my weight has dropped to where it is now & I've maintained it for at least 13 years. It's a mystery.

I remember weight guru Richard Simmons said he was sent to a weight loss group as a teen & if someone gained during the week they had to wear a badge with a pig on it.  

How are people so cruel?

I'm cooking at home now.  No fast food sounds good, except Schlotskys & it's across town.  Today I made my favorite meal: pan fried steak, mashed potatoes, biscuits & gravy.  It's normally not that big of a meal but I have plenty of leftovers so it wasn't a complete pig fest.  And I had an apple & a granola bar for supper, ending at 5:55.  😇

I also cooked pinto beans in my instapot today.  I tasted them but didn't really eat any.  That's lunch tomorrow.

I did eat out yesterday...enchiladas at the Plaza & about half of a banana split at Braums.  But it was my birthday.  

Sounding a little piggy 🐷🐷 but it was an unusual weekend.  I promise it's normally not this bad.

I need to write about this but I'm going to try to not only obsess about it.  I'm going to try.  I will admit that I plan food in my mind. I'm already planning on beans tomorrow.  But to be fair, I eat the leftovers so I'm saving money & don't have a new meal every day.  See, I can justify anything.

But I feel the urge to move, which is strange.  I'm trying to get a lot of steps in every day.  My Fitbit reminds me & I'm trying.

Gosh, I sound stressed about it & I'm truly not.

I talked to Kaye & told her I'm not coming back to work.  I enjoy being at home.  I'm going to miss it but think it's best.  

The truth is I'm over too many people every day.  I'd like a person or 2 occasionally but I need them to be real friends, not users.  

My former friend Donna was in the hospital last week & may still be. We've been friends for a long time but she is a dyed in the wool Democrat & does not like that we don't agree on politics.  I don't discuss them with her & can live with that but she cannot. So they have ignored me for the past year & a half. Which is seriously not anything new...she's only ever cared about herself & her family.  She used to call to talk about them but never once asked me about anything in my life.  I was her friend, she was never really mine.  I hope she's ok but I don't need her in my life.  

I'm trying read more.  I'm having trouble settling my mind as usual but the last couple of weeks have been good.  I finished 2 books, I'm in the middle of one now. 

I need some balance & variety in my life now that I'm home all the time.  I've turned into my mom...I don't like much TV noise anymore, in spite of watching My 600 pound life at this moment.  I can't handle it for long.  Ready for a bath & my book after this episode finishes.

And I'm binging a British crime drama called Shetland but not tonight.  It's set in the Shetland Islands in Britian & it looks like it would be a very cool place to visit, except for all the murders! 😅

I might have worn down here.  Or I might be back.

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