Sunday, May 19, 2024

Dream Today

First, in my defense, I don't sleep well at night.  I go to bed about 11 but most nights I'm still awake at 3am.  So when I do finally go to sleep, I usually sleep hard & sometimes I sleep late. I'm usually up about 9 but sometimes I sleep later.  Today it was noon & I probably would have slept later except I have a reminder alarm that goes off at noon. 

My body was trying to wake up before but I was dreaming clearly & didn't want to wake up. I was trying to hold on to the dream.

It was Christmas Eve at the house in Spur. I can't exactly tell when but Cathy was there & she passed away in 1997.  Cathy's kids weren't in the dream but she had a friend with her who was a little annoying. Mom,Cathy & I made part of the lunch but friend didn't help cook or clean up. She kept music up loud & turned it back up when someone turned it down. My mom didn't like a lot of noise but it didn't matter to friend. She talked on her phone all the time but that didn't happen before 1997 so of course not everything was accurate. Cathy had great friends forever but I don't remember this one.   

My dad was grilling hamburgers & that was very much not reality.  Not once in his life did he grill anything. He didn't seem happy about his role & in reality he would not have enjoyed. 

I remember washing piles of dishes with Cathy drying them. That certainly felt normal. We'd made mom sit down to talk to us but annoying friend was sitting next to her, talking on the phone. She is not invited to my next dream.

Spur doesn't have a bakery but dream Spur did. About  3pm on Christmas Eve, Cathy decided she wanted a fancy,fluffy cake. I adored my sister but this is absolutely typical of her.  She always had great ideas but her follow through was iffy.  Basically, she had trouble getting her stuff together.  So looking for a cake on Christmas Eve afternoon sounds just like her. We went looking but nothing was open. To be fair, she was from a larger town where the cake might have happened. But it was not in a town of less than 1000. 

For the record my mom had been baking all week.  I don't remember what in the dream but normally there would have been probably 2 pies, a cake & wonderful fruit salad. 

It wasn't in the dream but later on that night we'd be playing poker, Sorry or Yachtzee. Steve would be there too.

If their was more, I must have been waking up or the alarm went off & I don't remember.

But I woke up crying because I didn't want it to stop.  I wanted it to be Christmas Eve with my mom & daddy & sister. They are all gone from this earth but are waiting for me in Heaven. I wanted to hold on.

I'm having a little bit of a tough time today because I can't seem to stop crying.  It'll pass.

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