Tuesday, February 14, 2023

Second Dilemma

 And here's the other dilemma...

I love my Aunt Betty who is 88 years old a whole bunch.  She lives with her daughter & son-in-law in Dallas.  And she's about to have 2 brand new great granddaughters this summer.  So her daughter is having a double baby shower next month in Dallas.  Basically, for me, it means a trip to Dallas,drive or fly, & a hotel room & 2 gifts. And big old family stuff.

Just for background, my Aunt is a angel & I 'd love to see her & I need to make more effort while she's here.  her husband, my Uncle T, was a man who'd like to forget where he came from & always looked down on our family because my dad was a working man.  Never mind that my daddy took care of him when he was a kid when my granddaddy was in a stupor because he lost his wife. I do believe Uncle loved my mom & he always said he respected my dad but all of that was while he was looking down his nose at us.  And Aunt raised all 3 of her kids well but it was always clear they saw us as their poor relatives.  Cousin includes me because of her mom but I have no illusion that when Aunt goes I won't be included again.  I feel like they pity me a little when they see me.

When I talked to Cousin last week, I told her about my niece's new granddaughter & I don't remember exactly what she said but she didn't ask anything about her. Not where or when or who.  It never crossed her mind to try to care.  But I do remember feeling that's just how it goes.

Cousins have always been the haves--rich parents,rich educations,rich careers--and we've been the have nots. I'm proud of what S & I have accomplished but it doesn't stand in the spotlight like their lives. 

So I already know I'm a no on the trip.  And I'm still a maybe on gifts (Amazon delivered to their homes because they are all flying so no real gifts).  Because I love Aunt, I will probably send.  

But ignoring my family still hurts a little. 

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