And here's the other dilemma...
I love my Aunt Betty who is 88 years old a whole bunch. She lives with her daughter & son-in-law in Dallas. And she's about to have 2 brand new great granddaughters this summer. So her daughter is having a double baby shower next month in Dallas. Basically, for me, it means a trip to Dallas,drive or fly, & a hotel room & 2 gifts. And big old family stuff.
Just for background, my Aunt is a angel & I 'd love to see her & I need to make more effort while she's here. her husband, my Uncle T, was a man who'd like to forget where he came from & always looked down on our family because my dad was a working man. Never mind that my daddy took care of him when he was a kid when my granddaddy was in a stupor because he lost his wife. I do believe Uncle loved my mom & he always said he respected my dad but all of that was while he was looking down his nose at us. And Aunt raised all 3 of her kids well but it was always clear they saw us as their poor relatives. Cousin includes me because of her mom but I have no illusion that when Aunt goes I won't be included again. I feel like they pity me a little when they see me.
When I talked to Cousin last week, I told her about my niece's new granddaughter & I don't remember exactly what she said but she didn't ask anything about her. Not where or when or who. It never crossed her mind to try to care. But I do remember feeling that's just how it goes.
Cousins have always been the haves--rich parents,rich educations,rich careers--and we've been the have nots. I'm proud of what S & I have accomplished but it doesn't stand in the spotlight like their lives.
So I already know I'm a no on the trip. And I'm still a maybe on gifts (Amazon delivered to their homes because they are all flying so no real gifts). Because I love Aunt, I will probably send.
But ignoring my family still hurts a little.
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