2 more days and the holidays are over. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. And I have made it through another year.
The loneliness is overwhelming. I miss my family. Friends are nice but it's not the same. And I have Steve but he has his own family now & I like them all very much but I'm not comfortable in chaos & that's all on me. They asked me to come down once but I declined so they never asked again. And I'm actually ok with that.
A couple of years ago I met Hope's family down in Austin & it was nice but they live in Arizona. And they are chaos too.
Growing up, on Christmas Eve we'd eat supper & clean up & open presents. And on Christmas morning Santa came. I miss those days.
I'll be home for Christmas...but only in my dreams.